i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it (anywhere
i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)
i fear
no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want
no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)
2.28.2011
2.23.2011
2.14.2011
ponder
what is it that makes us perceive things the way we do and other things differently. and how have the experiences in our lives changed our perceptions, ideal, values, morals and beliefs of things negatively or positively? and what constitutes it being a negative or positive change, if there is any change at all? doesn't it all boil down to self perception and perceptions of the world around us in our own opinion?
2.09.2011
nobody said it was easy
we all have our flaws
... our burdens to bear
... and pain to endure
but none of that is without the knowledge there is more out there.
we all want true happiness
... to love fully without hesitation
... and to fulfill our souls
to be ones self completely without reservations & knowing that being yourself is exactly what we all need and want. getting there is another journey, and nobody said it would be easy.
... our burdens to bear
... and pain to endure
but none of that is without the knowledge there is more out there.
we all want true happiness
... to love fully without hesitation
... and to fulfill our souls
to be ones self completely without reservations & knowing that being yourself is exactly what we all need and want. getting there is another journey, and nobody said it would be easy.
2.02.2011
shel silverstein
Tell Me - by Shel Silverstein
Tell me I'm clever,
Tell me I'm kind,
Tell me I'm talented,
Tell me I'm cute,
Tell me I'm sensitive,
Graceful and wise,
Tell me I'm perfect -
But tell me the truth.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ations- by Shel Silverstein
If we meet and I say, "Hi,"
That's a salutation.
If you ask me how I feel,
That's consideration
If we stop and talk a while,
That's a conversation.
If we understand each other,
That's communication.
If we argue, scream and fight,
That's an altercation.
If we later apologize,
That's reconciliation.
If we help each other home,
That's cooperation.
And all these ations added up
Make civilization.
(And if I say this is a wonderful poem,
Is that exaggeration?)
Tell me I'm clever,
Tell me I'm kind,
Tell me I'm talented,
Tell me I'm cute,
Tell me I'm sensitive,
Graceful and wise,
Tell me I'm perfect -
But tell me the truth.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ations- by Shel Silverstein
If we meet and I say, "Hi,"
That's a salutation.
If you ask me how I feel,
That's consideration
If we stop and talk a while,
That's a conversation.
If we understand each other,
That's communication.
If we argue, scream and fight,
That's an altercation.
If we later apologize,
That's reconciliation.
If we help each other home,
That's cooperation.
And all these ations added up
Make civilization.
(And if I say this is a wonderful poem,
Is that exaggeration?)
1.23.2011
heart you
to dream as if you've never experienced pain
to laugh as if its the beginning
to cry as if its your last
live as if you are new to life,
to see all without hesitation and doubt,
moving forward putting one foot in front of the other,
knowing that this is the right action regardless the direction
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
gentle whispers among endless spoken words,
soak into my heart... making a place for themselves, its calming.
knowing the power that the simplest things have is scary, but worthwhile
believing in things that i have not grasped or touched, the moment itself seems forever away... but the belief is there
to laugh as if its the beginning
to cry as if its your last
live as if you are new to life,
to see all without hesitation and doubt,
moving forward putting one foot in front of the other,
knowing that this is the right action regardless the direction
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
gentle whispers among endless spoken words,
soak into my heart... making a place for themselves, its calming.
knowing the power that the simplest things have is scary, but worthwhile
believing in things that i have not grasped or touched, the moment itself seems forever away... but the belief is there
1.20.2011
1.05.2011
Bugga' turns 2!!!
1.02.2011
unexplainable & i believe...
there are things that happen in life that are unexplainable.
the reasons why are not always the answers we thought we needed...
sometimes its the journey that it takes us on, the pain, the healing, the unexplainable.
there are days i don't ask why, i don't want to know why. i need to trust that i am where i need to be & that i'm headed in the right direction to where i am going... even if i get a little lost along the way (its the journey).
------------------------
i believe...
in myself (most days).
in the better of humanity.
that people get lost withing themselves and struggle at times to find a way back.
in karma.
being grateful is good place to start.
people intend to do good in this world, but things get messed up along the way.
my life will all work out... even if i don't know the outcome.
my daughter is the best thing that has ever happened to me.
that there is more for me out there than what i currently have.
in love.
in truth & honesty, that it really can set you free.
majority of people are more selfless than selfish, even if it doesn't feel like it.
in positive attitude.
life is what you make it.
what you put out into this world is what you get back.
sometimes good people have bad shit happen for no reason.
in romance.
all things heal in time.
a good cry can be healing.
in my family & friends.
people make things to complicated at times.
the reasons why are not always the answers we thought we needed...
sometimes its the journey that it takes us on, the pain, the healing, the unexplainable.
there are days i don't ask why, i don't want to know why. i need to trust that i am where i need to be & that i'm headed in the right direction to where i am going... even if i get a little lost along the way (its the journey).
------------------------
i believe...
in myself (most days).
in the better of humanity.
that people get lost withing themselves and struggle at times to find a way back.
in karma.
being grateful is good place to start.
people intend to do good in this world, but things get messed up along the way.
my life will all work out... even if i don't know the outcome.
my daughter is the best thing that has ever happened to me.
that there is more for me out there than what i currently have.
in love.
in truth & honesty, that it really can set you free.
majority of people are more selfless than selfish, even if it doesn't feel like it.
in positive attitude.
life is what you make it.
what you put out into this world is what you get back.
sometimes good people have bad shit happen for no reason.
in romance.
all things heal in time.
a good cry can be healing.
in my family & friends.
people make things to complicated at times.
12.22.2010
Avett Brothers
... but, I can't go back,
I don't want too.
Cause all my mistakes,
they brought me to you.
I don't want too.
Cause all my mistakes,
they brought me to you.
would you hear me...?
Forever always seems to be around when it begins,
but forever never seems to be around when it ends.
People spend so much time every single day...
runnin' round all over town giving their forever away
But no, not me, I wont let my forever roam,
now I hope I can find my forever home.
So give me your forever, please your forever, not a day less will do... from you.
---------------
I'd rather walk along, than chase you around
I'd rather fall myself, than let you drag me down.
Further along we just may....
-----
when your whole world is shaken, from all the risks you've have taken
when you have awoken, from all the dreams broken
the paths were walking on, they crumble behind us
but if we leave now, they will never find us
when you start hoping again, with your arms wide open...
come on dance with me into the colors of the dusk
but forever never seems to be around when it ends.
People spend so much time every single day...
runnin' round all over town giving their forever away
But no, not me, I wont let my forever roam,
now I hope I can find my forever home.
So give me your forever, please your forever, not a day less will do... from you.
---------------
I'd rather walk along, than chase you around
I'd rather fall myself, than let you drag me down.
Further along we just may....
-----
when your whole world is shaken, from all the risks you've have taken
when you have awoken, from all the dreams broken
the paths were walking on, they crumble behind us
but if we leave now, they will never find us
when you start hoping again, with your arms wide open...
come on dance with me into the colors of the dusk
12.19.2010
'apple of my eye'
I miss the bejesus out of you Dad,
There is so much about what happened, what you did that I will never understand. So many thing etched into me permanently from that day. My life had drastically changed without my knowledge and again, I was left trying to hold myself together. I have my days when I accept as much as I can about your decision and I have my days when my soul aches. I do hope that you found the peace you needed. I love you.
------
memories that should be pleasant, filled with pain and loss.
pictures that would represent what should be, now fill space in a shoebox
dreams shattered without her knowledge
she trembles, tears from a heavy heart stream down her face
she keeps breathing
-----
is it easier to be a robot and not feel anything than to feel everything?
shutting down doesn't work anymore... not with this
walls crumble over time and I'm too tired to put them back up
raw... but real, everything is real
-----
12.15.2010
12.12.2010
simple and strong
set me free and let me be...
i'll do me & you do you,
its healthier than the games we used to do.
as darkness settles into the twilight,
the release of all & nothing come with it.
feelings dissipate,
being of my own being again
& realizations that were long overdue.
heartache & pain, necessary evils
its what i choose to do with it.
it touches & changes me
ever knowing,
ever growing
into the person that i am meant to be.
--------------------------------------------------
life isn't fully lived without pain, laughter and love
--------------------------------------------------
some of the simplest things evoke the strongest emotions- and for that i am grateful!
i'll do me & you do you,
its healthier than the games we used to do.
as darkness settles into the twilight,
the release of all & nothing come with it.
feelings dissipate,
being of my own being again
& realizations that were long overdue.
heartache & pain, necessary evils
its what i choose to do with it.
it touches & changes me
ever knowing,
ever growing
into the person that i am meant to be.
--------------------------------------------------
life isn't fully lived without pain, laughter and love
--------------------------------------------------
some of the simplest things evoke the strongest emotions- and for that i am grateful!
12.09.2010
cause I have nothing left in me to give tonight
That secret that you know
That you don't know how to tell
it f--ks with your honor
And it teases your head
But you know that its good girl
Cause its running you with red. - Bon Iver
12.08.2010
12.02.2010
no vacancy
"get out of my head" - you are not able to suck up space in my head without my permission or paying a toll...
thoughts drift to and fro... as quickly as the wind blows
melodies play in my heart of things unspoken but felt to the core of my being
fragile eyes look out unto the world
wonder
longing
desire
hope
exterior masks start to crumble as pieces of myself stand again
---------------------
... but this is the part where I tell you about the gradual reclamation of my soul, isn't it? I admit that the soul's not nearly mine yet. There are still several payments to make but I'll begin by saying that I discovered that there was something there for me to reclaim.
- excerpt from the book 'how soon is never?'
---------------------
I'm busy holding myself together with tape and glue...
pieces of me broken,
patches of my life,
myself,
being held together with tape and glue...
sometimes this is simply all I can muster to do.
(early 2010)
thoughts drift to and fro... as quickly as the wind blows
melodies play in my heart of things unspoken but felt to the core of my being
fragile eyes look out unto the world
wonder
longing
desire
hope
exterior masks start to crumble as pieces of myself stand again
---------------------
... but this is the part where I tell you about the gradual reclamation of my soul, isn't it? I admit that the soul's not nearly mine yet. There are still several payments to make but I'll begin by saying that I discovered that there was something there for me to reclaim.
- excerpt from the book 'how soon is never?'
---------------------
I'm busy holding myself together with tape and glue...
pieces of me broken,
patches of my life,
myself,
being held together with tape and glue...
sometimes this is simply all I can muster to do.
(early 2010)
11.25.2010
changeover
I will not be stifled
by those who deny growth
by ideas which forbid unfolding
by laws which suppress maturing.
I will not be intimidated
by the dictates of permanence.
I will not be smothered
by pretty mediocrity.
I will not be restrained
by the safe players.
I will protest the denial of life
and forge ahead.
How else will you and I meet?
The common place will not feed us.
We will starve in the middle of plenty.
I will make contact with myself
and grow toward you
with that extra sense of touch.
I will see you with the inner eye,
hear your unspoken words,
walk more than a mile with you.
I will be unpredictable.
I will live.
- Ulrich Schaffer
----------------------------------------------------------------
All growing is changing
from one state to another.
Leaving a world behind,
entering the fear of the
unaccustomed;
of colors that don't blend
of holy words that jar
of fractures that give rise
to visions.
We have left one realm
but have not arrived at the other.
We have given up one safety
but not gained another.
Above the gazing crowd
the trapeze artist lets go of his swing,
and then, if his timing is right
seizes the other swing,
without
asking time to stop for him.
That is the fight into growth.
That is the changeover
in which we experience our nakedness
to the point of hurting.
But there is not real growth without leaping,
without burning bridges
and standing wide- eyed and shivering
on a new shore.
And yet
without growth
there is nothing.
-Ulrich Schaffer
by those who deny growth
by ideas which forbid unfolding
by laws which suppress maturing.
I will not be intimidated
by the dictates of permanence.
I will not be smothered
by pretty mediocrity.
I will not be restrained
by the safe players.
I will protest the denial of life
and forge ahead.
How else will you and I meet?
The common place will not feed us.
We will starve in the middle of plenty.
I will make contact with myself
and grow toward you
with that extra sense of touch.
I will see you with the inner eye,
hear your unspoken words,
walk more than a mile with you.
I will be unpredictable.
I will live.
- Ulrich Schaffer
----------------------------------------------------------------
All growing is changing
from one state to another.
Leaving a world behind,
entering the fear of the
unaccustomed;
of colors that don't blend
of holy words that jar
of fractures that give rise
to visions.
We have left one realm
but have not arrived at the other.
We have given up one safety
but not gained another.
Above the gazing crowd
the trapeze artist lets go of his swing,
and then, if his timing is right
seizes the other swing,
without
asking time to stop for him.
That is the fight into growth.
That is the changeover
in which we experience our nakedness
to the point of hurting.
But there is not real growth without leaping,
without burning bridges
and standing wide- eyed and shivering
on a new shore.
And yet
without growth
there is nothing.
-Ulrich Schaffer
chaos vs. simplicity... where to even begin?
It has been awhile, quite awhile actually.
Lets start with the basics:
I have a daughter, a beautiful, just shy of being two little girl who is the 'apple of my eye'- she literally makes my heart dance with joy just being around her.
I am a single.
I went back to working for a previous employer, it puts a roof over 'bugs' head and pays our bills and in this economy I am grateful.
I think that covers it, or at least what I want to cover for the time being.
I have been writing a lot lately, most of it is just random thoughts that pop into my head or things that I just need to scribble down on the back of an old receipt so that I can take back my brain for awhile. I haven't had the urge or craving to draw lately, which is rather sad... its such a good outlet for me to have (along with some coffee and music). Maybe it will return, but for now I'll be content with the scribblings on receipts that I keep and ponder on later down the road at times. Poetry comes and goes in my brain, but I haven't written anything down for awhile for fear that it will become permanent... what an odd fear, now that I see it in writing. Possibly a fear that the words will be so strong and overcome me with permanence is a better way to put it?
Lets start with the basics:
I have a daughter, a beautiful, just shy of being two little girl who is the 'apple of my eye'- she literally makes my heart dance with joy just being around her.
I am a single.
I went back to working for a previous employer, it puts a roof over 'bugs' head and pays our bills and in this economy I am grateful.
I think that covers it, or at least what I want to cover for the time being.
I have been writing a lot lately, most of it is just random thoughts that pop into my head or things that I just need to scribble down on the back of an old receipt so that I can take back my brain for awhile. I haven't had the urge or craving to draw lately, which is rather sad... its such a good outlet for me to have (along with some coffee and music). Maybe it will return, but for now I'll be content with the scribblings on receipts that I keep and ponder on later down the road at times. Poetry comes and goes in my brain, but I haven't written anything down for awhile for fear that it will become permanent... what an odd fear, now that I see it in writing. Possibly a fear that the words will be so strong and overcome me with permanence is a better way to put it?
5.24.2006
random writing and poems
Ahhis this the other end of my brain (said the spider to the fly)? Though you may be sleeping, and I am awake the world may be a bit off-centered, but I have fairy dust faith in saying that we will surely overcorrect the damage done, with enthusiasm adventures awaiting you and I, or me and you, (a.e.i.o.u and sometimes why?) in the midst of the maze only to be had with caf o mania and cackles o plenty protruding from bellies beyond anything anyone is even knowledgeable of thus, my associate wake and we shall tread on the world in style leaving no doors to barricade our wanderlust vision. The Ghostbusters are creeping closer and closer but have yet to find me (safely wedged in my cubicle). Shhhh, its a secret, do not tell them where I am located. I beg of you, youre forefathers and the voices (in your head, or was it mine) for the being of my safety harness is in jeopardy!!! It was a close call yesterday, phew! They were clinging to my exhaust pipe on my sleek black samurai Hummer honda, while I trailed up hwy 52 home but I got em, I got em good too! A teardrop on the dark side of the moon life I live, strumming along with my tires on the pavement for this is one wild hwy I travel. Some days it feels more like a wave coaster, but sadly I think this only when I am stuck in auto pilot for the sea monkeys have invaded my common sense and all is lost to the unknown of King Kong and his endless growing infatuation with lima beans. I will eat you alive, I mumble.
untitled:
Silver clouds create pressure on the air which I breathe
Small stints of comedic relief wither and wane
Undeviating reminders of unpleasing times
Wasting time over things which will never be
Darkness holds on as light begins to creep through the crack
Suggestions of simplicity in a world of complications are welcome
Rhythms catch my toes to tap
Sincerity goes a long way in retrospect of a person's day
Wrapped inside the safeness of arms
Love equals warmth
My heart is built of pleasure & pain and inside my brain I hate that some days it all seems the same
TRS 05'
"until I can find me, I'll be what I am" -crooked fingers
untitled:
Silver clouds create pressure on the air which I breathe
Small stints of comedic relief wither and wane
Undeviating reminders of unpleasing times
Wasting time over things which will never be
Darkness holds on as light begins to creep through the crack
Suggestions of simplicity in a world of complications are welcome
Rhythms catch my toes to tap
Sincerity goes a long way in retrospect of a person's day
Wrapped inside the safeness of arms
Love equals warmth
My heart is built of pleasure & pain and inside my brain I hate that some days it all seems the same
TRS 05'
"until I can find me, I'll be what I am" -crooked fingers
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)