'apple of my eye'

I miss the bejesus out of you Dad,
There is so much about what happened, what you did that I will never understand. So many thing etched into me permanently from that day. My life had drastically changed without my knowledge and again, I was left trying to hold myself together. I have my days when I accept as much as I can about your decision and I have my days when my soul aches. I do hope that you found the peace you needed. I love you.
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memories that should be pleasant, filled with pain and loss.
pictures that would represent what should be, now fill space in a shoebox
dreams shattered without her knowledge
she trembles, tears from a heavy heart stream down her face
she keeps breathing
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is it easier to be a robot and not feel anything than to feel everything?
shutting down doesn't work anymore... not with this
walls crumble over time and I'm too tired to put them back up
raw... but real, everything is real
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