goodbye

you sent me to the brink last night...

sadly, i've known that conversation has been a long time in the making, and that it would happen sooner or later. i wasn't prepared for it to be last night, but i don't think i could have ever been able to prepare for what you said.

i'm letting go of you, of this false image of what you should have been in my life, cause in reality, you are just a man. you gave me life and i thank you for that, but it ends there.

see i had a father, an amazing dad (who stepped up when he didn't have to, but wanted too), who i miss everyday dearly! he was the one i needed in my life, to show me beauty, love, compassion, strength and humility to live and occasionally, to fall down, pick myself up and take on life again, unafraid.

i say goodbye, this isn't healthy and i've been through too much in my young life to allow you to treat me the way you did last night, again! i have spent endless time and energy trying to figure out where i went wrong... here's the thing it took last night to open my eyes, it wasn't & isn't me nor my fault. i was an infant, you chose to leave. i stood up to you finally, and am not going to feel guilty anymore for your choices that you made that affected our relationship.

i said what i needed to say last night. i made my 'peace' with the reality of our relationship, there is none... and now, now i let you go and move forward, putting one foot in front of the other, breathing and knowing that this didn't break me. does it hurt, yea... but pain fades and all things heal with time & patience.

i am still me, with or without you.