Avett Brothers

... but, I can't go back,
I don't want too.
Cause all my mistakes,
they brought me to you.

would you hear me...?

Forever always seems to be around when it begins,
but forever never seems to be around when it ends.

People spend so much time every single day...
runnin' round all over town giving their forever away
But no, not me, I wont let my forever roam,
now I hope I can find my forever home.

So give me your forever, please your forever, not a day less will do... from you.
---------------

I'd rather walk along, than chase you around
I'd rather fall myself, than let you drag me down.

Further along we just may....
-----

when your whole world is shaken, from all the risks you've have taken
when you have awoken, from all the dreams broken
the paths were walking on, they crumble behind us
but if we leave now, they will never find us
when you start hoping again, with your arms wide open...
come on dance with me into the colors of the dusk

'apple of my eye'

I miss the bejesus out of you Dad,
There is so much about what happened, what you did that I will never understand. So many thing etched into me permanently from that day. My life had drastically changed without my knowledge and again, I was left trying to hold myself together. I have my days when I accept as much as I can about your decision and I have my days when my soul aches. I do hope that you found the peace you needed. I love you.
------


memories that should be pleasant, filled with pain and loss.
pictures that would represent what should be, now fill space in a shoebox
dreams shattered without her knowledge
she trembles, tears from a heavy heart stream down her face
she keeps breathing
-----

is it easier to be a robot and not feel anything than to feel everything?
shutting down doesn't work anymore... not with this
walls crumble over time and I'm too tired to put them back up
raw... but real, everything is real
-----

Retrospect for Life

315 dollars ain't worth your soul...
315 dollars ain't worth your soul...

-Common

simple and strong

set me free and let me be...
i'll do me & you do you,
its healthier than the games we used to do.

as darkness settles into the twilight,
the release of all & nothing come with it.

feelings dissipate,
being of my own being again
& realizations that were long overdue.

heartache & pain, necessary evils
its what i choose to do with it.
it touches & changes me
ever knowing,
ever growing
into the person that i am meant to be.
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life isn't fully lived without pain, laughter and love
--------------------------------------------------

some of the simplest things evoke the strongest emotions- and for that i am grateful!

cause I have nothing left in me to give tonight

That secret that you know
That you don't know how to tell
it f--ks with your honor
And it teases your head
But you know that its good girl
Cause its running you with red. - Bon Iver

(wink)

... damn it feels good to be me again!

no vacancy

"get out of my head" - you are not able to suck up space in my head without my permission or paying a toll...

thoughts drift to and fro... as quickly as the wind blows
melodies play in my heart of things unspoken but felt to the core of my being
fragile eyes look out unto the world
wonder
longing
desire
hope
exterior masks start to crumble as pieces of myself stand again
---------------------

... but this is the part where I tell you about the gradual reclamation of my soul, isn't it? I admit that the soul's not nearly mine yet. There are still several payments to make but I'll begin by saying that I discovered that there was something there for me to reclaim.
- excerpt from the book 'how soon is never?'
---------------------

I'm busy holding myself together with tape and glue...
pieces of me broken,
patches of my life,
myself,
being held together with tape and glue...
sometimes this is simply all I can muster to do.
(early 2010)